I was explaining about a comment that was said to me by a student and how I had spent 2 weeks trying to work out how to deal with it because I hadn't responded at tht time. I was asked, did I show shock in my face? Sometimes that's all you need.

I said no. My first reaction - always - is to feel it and cover it up, act normal, like nothing happened. I have realised that actually, that's not the best reaction. I shouldn't normalize offensive things. I shouldn't cover it up and make it all ok for the perpetrator.
But how do you unlearn a reaction?

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