I "came out" as Jewish to someone I have known for nearly 6 years. She's a neighbour, which is the main reason why I have never told her too much information about my background
but we are also friends.
I have some strange idea that it is particularly unsafe for neighbours to know my ethnicity. It's best that I pass, that I lie low, that I remain inconspicuous. You always hear about ethnic cleansing, or genocide that it's the neighbours who turn on each other. I know it's probably just a news expression, but I guess I visualise it literally and since moving to this country I have never come out as Jewish to a neighbour.
Early in the day I made it light, like, "you know I'm Jewish right?".... but, when she came over in the evening it was Friday night and the candles were out and she asked, do you light Shabbos candles? She went quiet and I felt bad. I don't know how much has changed because I didn't come out earlier or because she has particular ideas of what it is to be Jewish. I'm afraid of her anti-Semitism and I'm afraid I have made it worse by not coming out earlier.